Wednesday, March 28, 2012

bugh

     Today was a dreary in my head kind of a day.  For those that don't know, I am currently unemployed.  I do work for a temp agency that is pretty killer but I haven't worked all week and last week I worked just shy of part time.  Save for the obvious benefits of being employed, such as making wage, it keeps me out of my own head.  It is a stupid, dark and dangerous place in there.  While I know full well that all that mess floating back and forth in there isn't anything other than an idol mind, it can just really blow especially since I've been home alone every day so far this week.  


    Why do I mention this in my weight loss blog?  It really affected my workout today.  When I first started working out this afternoon I burst into tears about 6 minutes in.  Awful thoughts about my weight, life and marriage just popped into my head and jumped around between my ears until I couldn't take it anymore.  I quickly changed and left the house to clear my head, running a quick errand at Walgreens was the best I could do.  When I got back I didn't work out.  I texted my husband and sat on my bum for a while.  I felt better when I started to make dinner, I love to cook.  


     I talked a few things out with my husband over dinner and started to feel a bit better and he encouraged me to do my work out.  I did it, but boy did I phone it in.  I learned a while ago that the judgement on what's happened doesn't matter but rather the act itself.  I said I was going to work out and I did, end of story.  


     I am still in the middle of my special lady time happy week so there is also a good chance that all those hormones are at play.  Huzzah for being a woman ;)

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