Saturday, March 24, 2012


     Today my dad is in visiting!  Yay!!  My dad lives in PA and comes to visit me about once every three months or so which is really nice.  Him and I are really close so it means a lot to me when he comes to visit and I don't like when things interrupt these trips.  I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to deal with balancing a visit and working out.  Turns out I didn't really need too!  Today my dad, my husband and I walked all around Brooklyn and Manhattan and after doing some quick Google Maps math it all added up  to around 4 miles.  Good deal.  I know it is NOT the same as jogging or doing cardio for a half and hour but it IS not sitting on my bum and doing nothing all day.  

     I also broke the prediabetes news to my dad today and that was hard.  We were talking about health and all and I was giving hime more details about my doc visit and not only did I tell him about the prediabetes I told him how much I weigh.  Last time he was weighed he was at 215.  I only way 11 lbs. less than my dad who is close to a foot taller than I am.  ::blugh::  That seemed to really hit my dad.  Then he did something that I fear that people do to me all the time.  He looked at my stomach.  At least 4 times in the rest of that part of our conversation.   He did it quickly, the way you do when you hope that someone won't notice.  I almost burst into tears right there on the subway platform.  In that moment I felt huge...  Not only that I feel like I was actually telling someone that I was fat and then the noticed, like I had wrecked that.  I don't really know how to explain it but it was heart breaking.  My dad also told me he didn't think I should or was cut out to run.  Not in like a mean I think your fat way but in a I don't think it's for everyone way.  I tried to explain that I am really falling in love with it and the way I feel but that was hard to convey since I have been limping on and off again with my left foot.  I don't know what I did but I can tell you it hurts like a mofo. sometimes.  

     Tomorrow I will be either doing Couch to 5k or my cardio depending on how late it is when my father takes off tomorrow.  I'm not a fan of jogging around here in the dark since there are a lot of streets I need to cross.  


     Eating.  Eating is awesome, eating is comforting, eating is nourishing and addicting and painful and complicated and easy and I have absolutely no idea how to do it.  There are so many schools of thought and learning them all enough to pick what works for me is overwhelming.  I don't get the do's & don't's and serving sizes and carbs v. points v. calories v. atkins and ...  It's a ton of information and I don't know how to take it all in to process - this is what will work for me to loose this damn weight.  /ramble&rant.

     I am also thinking I need to stop writing right before bed everything seems to come out much more like vomit when I'm tired.  

Good night loves. 

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