Wednesday, April 11, 2012

back in the saddle

     After a phenomenal break down yesterday I am back.  So I totally wigged out getting ready to workout yesterday.  I blamed it on the tape but that honestly wasn't the case.  I was just hit with - wow here I am again with this tape and I don't have much to show for it, I am down 11.3 pounds and no one knows, I can't feel it of see it so F*CK! I cried and cried last night that I've been doing all this work and it doesn't seem to be making a dent - like no one is noticing, including myself. I just need to get in check is all.  If others notice isn't really the goal, getting healthy and feeling better is.  I went from not working out at all to working out between 5 & 6 days a week in about a month.  I have lost 6% of my body weight.  I am 3.7lbs away from hitting a goal that I have set for June 15th.  I am doing a 5k Mud Run in 24 days.  And why?  All because I said so, that I had enough of my health just getting away from me and holy f*ck I don't want to be diabetic.  One of the leading diseases in this country - and Type II is SELF INFLICTED.  No thank you.  

     Today I took the train in to Jersey to hang with my mom.  We grabbed some gear for my up coming Mud Run (stuff cheap enough to throw out if it's trashed after the run) and she took me to her gym.  I did a half an hour on the treadmill and swam 300 meters in the pool.  Good lord do I love swimming.  I swam competitively in high school and I loved it.  I was a distance swimmer as opposed to speed.  I was never fast but I could swim for days if you asked me to.  My favorite race was the 500 meter.  I only ever placed once (I swam the slow lane) but I loved it.  20 laps.  Simple.  Wow.  If I could swim again all the time in a free lane I would.  I would have to start taking benedryl and carrying lotion with me everywhere since me an chlorine don't mix one lick but ugh... it just felt so good to swim.  

     I feel good today.  Yesterday I did not.  Such is life.  As promised, the good bad and ugly of this journey.


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