Tuesday, July 31, 2012

139 - r e l a x

     Today was a one work out kind of day. 
I was lucky to even get the one in.  I was in such a freaking  mood today it stunk.  Early on I realized I wasn't going to be able to work out the way I wanted to so I got all thrown off.  Then as I tried to rethink my plan I couldn't come up with something that worked.  It was all just a mess in my head and I was so super down on myself.  

     When I finally got to working out I was just so done and on the brink of tears.  N popped into our room to see how I was and that was just it for me I began to cry like a child.  Deep sobs.  I didn't stop what I was doing mind you.  I just cried.  I think it was through the whole stretching section which is at least 10 minutes long, if not more.  Again, I had no idea what they crying was about and I did search for it.  My head was blank, just crying.  I didn't put in a good effort because I was embarrassed about jumping up and down with everyone down stairs.  I got a good work out in but I didn't give it 100%.  

     My plan for tomorrow is to wait until most people have left for the beach in the morning and then get in my work out.  I don't know why it embarrasses me so much to have them around - it isn't like they are in the same room, they aren't even on the same floor.  

     Ok.  To keep from freaking out about today here are four things that I have accomplished on vacation 1) I have been very conscience about my eating.  No cookies, no chips, none of that.  2) I have worked out everyday since I have been on vacation.  One day I worked out twice.  On vacation.  3) I have not gotten sun burned at all.  I have been deligent about my sunscreen.  4)  I have gotten to 100% on my check list every day since I have been here.  

    What I really need to let go of is control.  I am so used to being able to control all the food in my house, when I get to work out, etc but while on vacation I need to more fit things in than anything else.  Moving forward on this vacation I am going to CALM DOWN.  CALM DOWN DENISE.  I am on vacation.  I deserve to have a great time here AND take care of myself.  I can do both.  

     Thanks for commenting and cheering me on.  I love it and all of you.  



  1. dont beat yourself up. you have been doing so well. you are on vaction, you dont have to e on top like when your hom. let your hair down. well as much as you can lol. have a great time it will all be ok. remember the charcoal. love you

    1. I do have to be on top. I can just relax more around the edges. Thanks for your encouragement!

  2. You should be so proud of all your accomplishments! As hard as it is to stay focused and on track normally, it's 10 times harder when you're out of your reguar routine. Keep on going!