Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Wednesday night

Got in a small jog. More like a fast walk. The voices inside were so strong tonight. The you cant's & this hurts and you're fat and heavy and a failure were loud and clear. 

What breaks my heart more and makes me feel worse is the sadness it creates in N. He loves me so much an wants so much for me and I'm just so hateful with myself. 

Monday, May 5, 2014

What do I do?

Writing is still really hard and not because I don't have anything to say.  What makes it hard is that there is so much I cannot say.  Everything in my life right now relates to my accident, the injury, recovery and treatment and I cannot talk about any of it because of legal stuff.  

Things are still slow but other things are fast.
Some is easy and other things are so fucking hard.
My friends, family & coworkers are the most amazing people on the planet.

What do you think?  Should I just close down shop until I can say anything?
I really don't know what else to talk about or how to really communicate everything I want to.

In regards to the blog and my healthy journey I often feel at a total loss.